Reminiscence

Have you ever missed the time when you first dared to dream? Those times when the scariest and saddest thing was when your mom leaves you in nursery school and then you start to think that she might not come back and yet at the end of the day, you will be delighted to see her smiling face, patiently waiting for your class dismissal, patiently waiting for you. Those times when you were so afraid to take the plunge not knowing what the future may hold, or to expose yourself to a bigger and newer world.

Those times when the reason of your tears were the teasing of your friends, when even a single coin or toy could mean happiness to you, when the word difficult could be synonymous to the assignments your teacher have given you. Those times when you pretend to be a grown up, thinking that everything that the world might offer are purely happiness.

Have you reminisced the times when the only person you cannot live without were your family? When your greatest pain were caused by the bruises you got after the seemingly restless playing with your friends, times when some of the biggest lies you have ever told were “I won’t eat candies anymore” to give your parents some sort of assurance or telling your parents “I have already understood what you have taught me” each time they will teach you lessons after school, so you can already go out and play with your friends.

Have you remembered those times when the insecurity you have was brought by your incomplete teeth, and then you were so afraid to smile because your classmates might see it. Times when the only strategy you were thinking was mainly about how your loose deciduous tooth would be drawn from your gum, and when playing hide and seek and other outdoor games and the not-so-pro ghost hunting were the most extreme thing you have ever done.

Have you recalled those times when you were so curious about almost everything, times when you have a lot of questions that even your mother cannot answer some of those, because you were too young to know everything. Times when even the sound of the rain or the school bell would make you extremely happy, and times when you were so naïve about the world.

Have you ever smiled while remembering those times when the debate you were engaging with was about who among the protagonist of your favorite cartoon is the the most awesome or whose parents is the most beautiful or the kindest? Times when the thing that causes your excitement was whenever you will learn that your parents will treat you to your favorite fast food and amusement park on the coming weekend. Those times when you think that the ‘time’ itself moves so slow because you were exhausted with your ‘tutorial’ lessons with your mom after class, when the things that scare you were the ghost stories of your friends, or the thought that you will be eaten by a ghost when you fail to take an afternoon nap or siesta because that was what the elderly used to trick you back then.

Have you thought of those times when the only parts of the year you look forward were Christmas and your birthday? Times when the only thing that causes your ‘heart break’ was when your mom fails to give you something that you like because of practicality reasons, or  times when you were so contented even if you just have sweets and any other types of food with you. Times when the thing that amazes you were your grandfather’s magic tricks and those new models or types of toys you cannot wait to buy.

Times when the only hand you want to touch were those belonging to your parents or times when you cannot even let go of your mom’s hand, especially when you were out or at the mall, afraid that you might get lost and might not be able to reunite with your family again and times when you burst into laughter just because of simple things.

As you look back, you might miss a lot of things you used to do, those times when you care less about many complicated things and care more about those simple ephemeral pleasures the world has been offering. As you grow old, you also start to have that new perception about the world, you come to realize that even those little memories are precious. You might wonder why some of those things have become different right now, but the child in you still lives and will continue to live deep down no matter what and as you continue to look back, you will be smiling to see that old you, to see how you have metamorphosized from a simple egg to a wonderful butterfly.